Joe "Catfish" Provo's Expected Web Grunk

The arrows burst my skin
to show what is left of me

-The Wolfgang Press


Every page on the net is "under construction". These pages are "under mutation"; they change every time they are visited, barring a few nescessary constants. If you're lazy enough to stay here fifteen minutes and your browser supports META tags, we'll reload the page for you.

Service offer: send me unsolicited, "bulk" (commercial or non) email, and I'll proof it for 50 dollars a line! See here for more info on my valuable offer!

If you want to be blackholed at the gweep.net mail server, thou impertinent milk-livered jolthead, send mail to my old flame-bucket or to an old address. If you don't like something about these pages, or wish to correlate address scraping thou puking clapper-clawed clapper-clawed death-token, send mail to my current flame-bucket. If you like something about these pages, send mail to web-comment where scraped appears in the mailto link.

Peeve-of-the-Moment:
Inaccuracy.

Well-known Joe Provo Fact Number Eight:
He is a member of the National Forensics Society. He took second place in a Virginia statewide competition for dramatic reading interpretation.

"A construct made of cloned human tissue, augments, anxiety, depression, and unforcused rage, a killing machine for whichever humans rented me, until I made a mistake and got my brain destroyed."

I recommend you visit the Montreal Biodome PenguinCam or checking out the free, global email-to-fax gateway from The Phone Company now.

Want more spew? There's something about Church names that stick in my head...

And as a parting shot, a sample from the Weekly World Spew's concert, club and music classifieds:

Weekly World Spew
Concert, Club and Music Classifieds
Tonight at The Mad Raven!
 AroundGaia
 with a special solo hypnotic performance by
Monica Lewinsky (of The Politicians)!

The Spelunkees
 tape release party with ...
Gray-Mauve Color Blind Medicine
 ... Free Valium at the door!

You won't want to miss this weekend's Gweepapalooza!

FIVE BANDS!
Battle Creek Rockabilly House
Z.Z. Bop
Killing Honey Mustard & Onion Sourdough Pretzels
Meteorite Sanctuary Posers
Noove Group
 . . . with the vicious Joe Provo!

You won't want to miss next Monday's Despair Benefit!

FIVE BANDS!
The Supervisors
Raging Bosses
Bird the Broken Bolt
Stalactite Steeple Pilots
Kids Etc.
 . . . with the vicious Thelonius Monk!

Cheers,
joe